I can’t think of another holiday that breaks hearts and melts hearts the way Valentine’s Day does. If you’re taken, your expectations are skyrocketed and if you’re single, well maybe you could care less then. However, if mothers and fathers get a day to celebrate (even though I’m sure mothers and fathers would agree that every day should be mother’s day and father’s day) I guess it’s okay to dedicate a day to especially acknowledge the ones you love in your life! Plus, it makes all of the card and chocolate distributors’ day too. The misconception is that Valentine’s Day is catered to just those who are in relationships. And I don’t agree at all. I mean, think back to when we were in elementary school and those innocent card exchanges we would have in class every Valentine’s Day. It felt nice just to celebrate with friends… and for some, a crush. I think we’re personally responsible for adding the hype and expectations, therefore, making Valentine’s Day sound more like a Hallmark holiday. Well whether you’re tied to the hip or looking for love, here’s something to consider today and any other day, with help from psychotherapist Dr. Linnda Durre.

Three things to keep in mind if you’re single:

  1. It’s totally ok to not be in a relationship. According to Dr. Durre, you need to be able to watch your own co-dependency and be okay with the term independent and capable! After all, you do have to love yourself before you can love someone else.
  2. If you’re looking, continue to visualize what you want. Do not settle for less. Keep a list of all the traits that are important to you and remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea!
  3. You can STILL celebrate love with friends! Have a last-minute party with the important people in your life. Go out, chances are there are others out there who are in the same boat!

Three things to keep in mind if you’re taken:

  1. Nobody is perfect. Be happy with the thought. It may not have been what you envisioned, but be happy it’s something! You have to appreciate each other and the gesture.
  2. You don’t have to do the cliché Valentine’s Day ritual of a romantic dinner and dessert night. Do something you both enjoy! The whole point is to have a good time. So if poetry night is your thing, do that, and while you’re at it, write a poem for each other.
  3. Most importantly, tell each other how much you love one another. “You have to accentuate the positive,” According to Dr. Durre. “Remind each other why you’re together.”

Also, it’s important to make sure you’re making each other feel valued, and that’s where respect comes in. I think anyone would agree with Dr. Durre when she says, “You don’t have love if you don’t have respect.”

So, ladies and gentlemen, the lesson here is whether you’re single or taken, focus on the positive today and every other day, and you will be surprised at all the good you attract into your life. Love and happiness are always right around the corner. Happy Valentine’s Day!