Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking

Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking

As a matchmaker, I hear women complain all the time about men. You want to attract the ladies; I have great advice for you. The women are out there and they single! The problem with dating these days is no one, men and women alike, treat a dating app contact as if it’s meaningful. They ghost, don’t call back for no reason, ping you one second and gone the next. They have the attention span of a gnat. Then there are the forever texters. It’s way too much contact via text that is meaningless. Here’s a tip: quit texting! You want to break away from the pack and stand out? Try calling. So few of you actually call and ask a woman out these days that a potential date might actually be quite moved by it and give you a shot just for calling.

So, before I go into what ladies are looking for I would be remiss if I didn’t mention to you that you need to stay away from the fatal friends’ zone. You have had this happen to you before, and nothing kills it quicker than a woman that tells you she would like to be friends. How did it happen, or maybe the better question is why does it happen? I will tell you it’s because your conversation was way too serious too soon. This is a bit of an inside out perspective on why women will date bad boys. Bad boys like to play and this is the opposite. You are not playful and flirty and you are way too serious-sounding. Don’t confuse this for wanting to be serious in a relationship too soon. It’s when you miss the flirtatious banter you skip a relationship step -that exciting build up in a relationship that launches you. Learn to be flirty and fun. Don’t be so serious. You are boring her to tears. You become the nice guy. No one wants nice.

So, what are ladies looking for from a guy?

  • Less texting – Women hate guys texting them. They will answer because they like you but really they would prefer a call from time to time.
  • Less talking about yourself and more genuine interest in them. Guys, we don’t care how great your job is or where you went to school on the date. We care about how you make us feel. You make us feel great when you ask about us and genuinely listen.
  • Stop looking at the other women in the room. We get it and we like to look too, but not when we are out on the date with you. We don’t want to feel like you are looking for the next best thing.
  • Don’t be so cheap. You can pay for the date. Don’t offer to split it and don’t leave your wallet home. We hate cheap guys.
  • Master the art of being funny. Women love funny guys. Funny will get you in the door anytime.
  • Don’t confuse sarcasm and cynical for funny. It defeats funny. You sound angry.
  • Dress the part! Don’t know how to dress, go to the Nordstrom’s men’s department and figure it out with the salesperson. Your t-shirts and hoodies scream college boy. You are a man.
  • No naked texts of you or requests for naked photos of women. Really, you guys do this all the time. Think first if your mother would approve of whatever it is you are about to do, and don’t do it because your momma raised you not to behave like this.

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