Moving On After a Painful Divorce
The easiest thing to do after a divorce is to announce how you’re ready to move on. The hardest thing to do after a divorce is to actually do it. With our emotions in a constant whirl, with the legal battles and painful memories becoming a party of your daily life, things can seem hopeless and tiresome. A better life calls to us, but we never seem to be able to reach it because everything we see, and touch and feel reminds us of our ex. We avoid going to places that we used to love visiting because you never know if they’ll be there. Your mutual friends, assets and children are somehow being divided between you two and everything is a mess, it’s falling apart, you can’t stand it. But take a deep breath and pause. Let’s figure out how to move on.



Take your time to process things

Heartbreak is a big thing. We often try to pretend it’s less than what it is in some crazy effort to outshine our ex, to show how we don’t need them anymore. Feelings of anger, resentment and fear are normal, and trying to suppress them or letting them overtake us completely won’t lead anywhere. What you really need is some time alone, or at least away from your ex. Whether you decide to go visit your parents, take a vacation with your best friends, or just spend some time alone at a spa, it doesn’t matter. As long as you just take some time off to deal with your grief and process what happened. You’ve lost your partner. You are currently alone. Okay. Will you be alone forever? No, of course not. Will you ever be happy again? Yes. Okay, not that you rationally know that it’s time to find a way to start feeling it as well.

Be well-prepared for court

Look, divorces are a common thing, so you’re not the only one who’s dealing with this and it’s not supposed to be such a stigma. Instead of deciding to remain in a bad marriage, you’ve decided you want something better, and that’s great. In Sydney and the rest of Australia for example, divorce rates show interesting statistics. There are now better legal systems in place which make the process run more smoothly than before, and you’re not doomed to stay stuck in a failing relationship. Hiring good family lawyers in Parramatta, Kareela, Lane Cove or any other place is easy, so regardless of where you’re from, finding someone to represent you in court shouldn’t be hard. So, prepare yourself mentally and be ready for the long process, especially if you have children. A good lawyer will help you stay calm and get what you’re owed, and if your ex was abusive, irrational or if they cheated on you, you will need that kind of legal protection.



Do things that make you happy

Losing a partner can really affect our sense of self. There was this one person that’s been around us for a long time, and now we no longer know how to live without them, or what to think about ourselves. After a divorce, you probably won’t know what to do with your life. The best places to start are your hobbies, and things that make you happy. You need to occupy your mind and direct your energy into something positive. While a day or two of just sitting in front of your TV and eating ice cream in your pyjamas will do you good, it becomes harmful if it stretches out. Instead of gaining twenty pounds, an alcohol addiction, and a fear of social interaction, try working on yourself instead. Sign up for a gym membership, take makeup classes, try painting or making crafts – anything positive that will keep you busy and make you feel better.

The last step is forgiveness. Forgive your partner, not for their sake, but your own. Maybe they are great and you just didn’t work out well together, or maybe they’re terrible and deserve nothing at all. Forgive them because you need it, because it’s the best way to move on and erase the grief from your life. You are going to have love again, but you need to keep your heart open for when it decides to come knocking on your door.

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